Am Done!!!

To all those of who are airing with all your free counsel without even me soliciting it for; all I could say will be a BIG Thank You! Thanks for all those extra efforts that you put in giving away those "precious" say but yet No Thank You!! If you think that am not sane enough to do things and more over settle on things by muself for a plain reason that I tend to ask things before I do anything as a mark of respect, then probably you have flawed . With a definite fact that I did exist in this galaxy for about twenty years before I ran thro’ you I have the conviction that am proficient enough to run things on my own even if it’s going to cost me a fortune. I will truly appreciate if I am given my space to live, breath and on the whole survive! And as the quote goes by.. Please Live and let Live.

Am hurt… deeply...

Like any daughter, My Dad is my Hero. He’s always been a calm, composed, passionate person and on the 25 years of this life journey I’ve never seen Appa loosing his cool... I’ve always tried to live like him... Appa’s main motto in life which he also follows conscientiously is "the more you give... the more you grow". I’ve seen him live up with his motto even if it’d cost him a fortune… And by some means I’ve imbibed this quality of his in me… I’ve always accepted things as it comes and have never really wanted it the Way I wanted… Many a times, right from my childhood ,I’ve been taken for a ride … I will constantly face bullying , bickering and on … but as a kid, I was not very vexed … I was jus so blameless that I could jus dust away from my shoulders and move on …. I’ve been and am paying a great deal even today… This one eminence has so developed in me that am now unable to completely rip it off from after having paid off profoundly… Though my inner strength has grown stronger, but there have been times when it will lead me to the boundaries of aggravation… as high to the extent of cursing, abusing, assaulting myself for having been so naïve... There have been many such instances in the recent past which has testified this eminence and the one in the recent past has unquestionably distressed me… Too many things jus ran on my mind... with too many questions which were predominantly WHY AGAIN ME???? I couldn’t take the effects jus like that… I didn’t feel like talking to anyone… I didn’t want to see anyone’s face… On the first place, I jus didn’t know how to react when I was nailed for something which I did that could have been any girl’s yearning … There was no one around for me to vent out… For the first time ever I experienced the seclusion among the swarm… I wanted to run to my mother hide my face under her lap and cry my heart out... I wanted to cuddle to my dad’s shoulder to experience his warmth… I’ve never missed them so bad in life… and I realized what they are to me… It was a revelation. It has left behind a irreparable scar in me… and has shaken my inner strength… appallingly. Though everything seems fine but still at the bottom of my heart…. AM ALL HURT…. DEEPLY….

Puthum Puthu Bhoomi Vendum……

I happened to listen to one of those programs on radio where the public can call and confess to the RJ about their problems which they could not share with any of their fellow mates. Undoubtedly 90% of the callers will talk about their relationship problems..

I was particularly flummoxed when one caller was literally sobbing because his girl friend had not spoken to him for months together over a small misunderstanding..

And with those kind of news that’s going all around me of the breakups, broken engagements and stuff.. Has seriously left me in conjecture if all this was worth the whining?? And guess what; most of whiners will be men. I’ve always wondered what makes this man-woman relationship an intricate one of all the other ones. But I’ve to admit one thing that, from my personal observations, it’s always the men who’s being embittered on the whole process. Am actually ashamed to say this, but I believe that’s the scenario in today’s fast-food- based relationships. Well not that am advocating for men here, but it’s so pathetic to the way they are being handled. And for most, the reason is very simple of being a victim to the “family influence”. Oh C’mon, give me a break!!! Will you be able to accept the same if a guy decides to abandon you for the same rationale? Wouldn’t all hell break loose and that guy and his family been stoned for being a butcher of woman’s rights? Here, I would like to put as a disclaimer that am talking about that woman who is not worth talking about their rights. And as always rights are being misunderstood. Does the woman activists on the street who parade and fight for these kind of rights?? If yes, then am proud to call myself as a one who do not believe in woman rights.. Why on earth do we've to lead our life with such complexities when we have much better options of leading it peacefully?

Of all that has been said before, am not trying to portray a picture-perfect- woman of Myself. But maybe am playing cards safely. After all that I’ve seen and heard, I’ve started to really not trust in those relationships. I may not have very adventurous stories for me to tell my grand children but at least I can look straight in their eyes and say that I’ve not injured anyone without a feel of guilt.

Ranting here, ranting there and ranting every where...

* Mom says to spend more time with her..

* Dad asKs me to do lotof things at the same time..

* Sis orders me to be more responsible and organised..

* Bro-in-law warns me being over weight...

* Boss wants me to concentrate more on my job...

And here, Me wants a sovereignty ..