Of some ‘untold’ things ..

Can anyone in this world forget our adolescent time: the time when we force ourselves to  loose the child-innocence and start acting like big people, the time when we are embarrassed when our  mamma calls us baby in front of our friends, the time when we get conscious about how we look eternally, the time when we appreciate nature’s gift such as rains ,sceneries’, the time when we believe in those fairy-tale stories and trust that those are for real and imagine ourselves to be the protagonists and wait for our prince charming or our lady love. It’s the time when we first experience that moment of our life, the moment when we realize that there are swarm of butterflies that flutters in us as we see that person .
 I’d experienced this fluttering for the first time while I was in grade eight when I saw this boy, let’s call him A , who fitted right into the expression ‘tall, dark and handsome’. He was not that kind of a major “head-turner”,neither do I, but yet there was this unexplained vibe(oh yeah, yeah, that Indian movies effect as u are already thinking) whenever I saw him. I sort of found him little funnily weird as he had a little larger ears which didn’t sync that well with his other wise usual round small face. He was on the other section and  I met him during one of those art classes where in both the sections were combined. I met him eye to eye when I’d accidentally stumbled upon his book and wanted to return it to him. I couldn’t resist myself in staring at him for quite sometime while I felt there were those people playing violins besides me( yep,from that same movie :)), and came back to my senses, when he’d called my name a little louder. I did a little background check got to know some of his details like his family, friends , interests and so from some of our common friends. From then on , I made sure that I didn’t dare to bunk the otherwise boring classes and also tried very hardly to make myself omnipresent. I spent days thinking about him and grabbed every opportunity to go in and come out of his class, sometime genuine and many a times feigned. For my friends I came as a surprise shocker as the friend whom they saw as a very shy, timid and not-so-interesting girl doing some crazy things and finally became their “laughing stock” for all their presumably ‘funny’ jokes. But nothing tugged me down and I was acting even more crazier just so I could get back at them. I tried all possible way to impress him but the introvert that I  am and also by some fear of rejection, the boy obviously had no clue about it. This little crush of mine came to a logical end when his family moved out of town half way thro’ the year for some reasons which I apparently came to know thro’ some of our common friends. Though it hit very hard at that moment, somehow it did not make that profound impact that I thought it would. Just as the popular adage goes, time became the perfect healer and his memories and thoughts blurred and today, I don’t even have a clue of what & where he is now. It was more like a passing clouds that poured down heavily and evanesce off in the sky without perturbing the flow of life. After this , apparently there were couple of others that just didn’t even last for few days , but all of which were untold before I really understood what the real ‘love’ meant. Though it’s funny now, but if I  could just sit back and get a little introspective about it I cannot help but to think on the ignorance I’d at that point of time in thinking that ‘this was it’  and go little over board without even realizing on what and how relationships works. As time and age progressed my ideas on relationships bettered and today am surely in the best place I could have ever imagined with the love of my life with dearth of any repent.

PS : I’d written this for blogadda’s contest, but understably am late by two days ,nevertheless thought of posting. Thanks for blogadda for making me to reminisce my good old days.

Of more books…

Three Cups of Tea By Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin :

I chanced upon this book while I was reading this . The writer had so eloquently written about the book that it instigated me instantaneously to pick the book my self. Do I repent or what , if anything, am grateful for the blogger to have introduced me to this wonderful experience. The popular adage “failures are the stepping stones of success” proved true literally to this man. What could have been a personal accomplishment turned out to be a accomplishment for the society. The book is about Mr. Greg Mortenson ,an American mountaineer who reaches the village of Korphe in Pakistan accidentally ,which changes the history for good on a failed expedition ,who was on his way to  reach the peak of K2. Greg is moved by warmth of the locals and instantaneously reciprocates the love and affection. He further learns about the plight of the schools and understands their needs. He was  appalled when he learns that the nearest hospital for them was somewhere two-day drive. He goes back to his country promising the people that he would soon return to change this scenario. This was/ is the turning point for both Mr. Greg and also for the village. From then on there was no looking back for Mr. Greg who by now have built hundreds of schools in the most vulnerable areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan. He achieves his mission by building one school at a time and is a strong believer of girl’s education which he believes will eradicate the ignorance of the society. The book also shares some interesting perspective of the so-called “conservative Islamists “ as the truth is somewhere far from what is been perceived by the mass by and large. The perfect example of such is HajI Ali who was the “Nurmadhar” or the chief of Korphe. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration if it’s said that HajI ali was the mentor for Greg, for it was he who taught him on how to deal with things that was alien to him. It was pleasant to read how Greg adopted and adapted  the local practices which even includes the dress code of the inhabitants. It was a revelation when we come to know that Greg also learnt their language Bali to become one among them. It was definitely not a cake walk for Greg to attain this “heights”. There were number of instances which if not for him any one else would have given up this spectacular mission. The chilling kidnap of Greg in the remote place of Waziristan, Pakistan where he was abducted for eight days and finally seen off with the contributions from them for his mission is just one among those myriad instances. There were also number of ‘fatwas’ issued by various muslim organizations to stop Greg or rather “infidel” to work in the muslim dominated area. But each time, Greg bounced back with more power to serve the people. There’s a wide belief that good people would be surrounded by equally good people and this belief seems to be true, right from HajI Ali to his personal guard Faisal Baig who vowed himself that he wouldn’t leave Greg anywhere alone in the vicinity of Pakistan since the episode of that abduction to many to name a few. This unique traits of Greg has been bequeathed by his parents who were no less than Greg’s mission. Greg’s parents were responsible for building schools and hospital in the much neglected area of Tanzania  and also established Kilimanjaro Christian Medical center. The book also shares the experience of this American who was in an extremely remote village of Pakistan opening schools along with his colleague from Central Asia Institute during on the world’s biggest disaster of the twin-tower blast happening in his country And by now if there’s an impression that Greg is this “perfect” man has been created in the minds, then the answer would be a big NO. Greg has his own limitations like how the co-author David Oliver Relin points how Greg was unpunctual, like wise, there are also number of instances which describes about Greg’s insomnia and many like these. But one cannot deny that all these looked trivial before his big mission. The book was definitely a page turner and it was more gratifying and humbling experience to know and read about people like him. Greg has also come up with his second book “stones into schools “ which elucidates his experience in Afghanistan. We can also read Greg’s interview from here.

The Museum of Innocence by Orhan Pamuk :

This was one book which was on my wish list for quite sometime after reading raving reviews. The book was worth all the wait. It’s story of wealthy business man in Turkey, Istanbul who is truly madly  deeply  in love with a shopkeeper -distant cousin, Fusun despite  him being engaged to his rich girlfriend , Sibel. The love later on turns into an obsession and looses her in the mid way. Did Kemal win his love , if he did , did it love last forever forms the rest of the story. This book can be compared with any of our contemporary Indian cinema but what makes the difference is the narration. The author has spoken from the point Kemal knows Fusun’s existence which is when she was still a fetus in her mother’s womb while he himself was almost sixteen years old. The author has walked us thro’ the Istanbul streets and have brought in the transformation of Istanbul both culturally and as a country while he was narrating a flamboyant love story in a good five hundred and odd pages. The book was a memorable read and ‘unputdownable’ to me. This review gave a more meaningful insight about this wonderful book.

My Sister’s keeper by Jodi Picoult :

Pics Courtesy : Amazon.com

The book caught my attention for its unique tag line when I was browsing thro’ some books at the store and back home did a small research on the same. It’s story of how a child is ‘engineered’ to save her first child from leukemia. It elaborates on the emotions that as a family they are going thro’ and the legal hassles that follow. The author has used the multiple scheme of narrators who talks from their point of perspective. Of all the characters ,Sara Fitzgerald is one who would invoke a concoction of emotions ranging from love, hatred, sympathize ,empathize , anger all at the same time but, if any anything , this is one character whom we would never want to be. The book was definitely a great read for the plot, for the way it was written and for the literature. But yet the read was emotionally exhausting and was continually meandering  in my mind throughout and I really had to take a serious break from reading.

What to write??

The one thing that has been consistent of this space is my INCONSISTENCY and I’ve no qualms in saying so. Am I ashamed of this or do I attribute it to some mundane or clichéd  excuses like “No time, been busy” ,”life has not taken any earth shattering change to write about” and such like. But nothing of that sorts. It was my pure inability to translate my feelings to words. It’s as simple as that. Not a single day  had passed without me staring into this blank page wanting to tell so much and make my voice heard leading to typing something and  back  spacing it instantaneously. By the time I perform this ritual of write -and- delete - and-write , the moment would have surpassed blurring the thinking process further. Am not a prolific writer , for that instance, not even an average writer, to get inspired by scenic beauties or flower blossoming to write creatively and bring those wonderful moments before the reader’s eyes. If anything it’s only my thoughts that rule this space. There were umpteen number of thoughts that was meandering thro’ my mind , several of which would surpass as it comes and many of which sustained creating a profound impact in me . There have been instances where I’ve let my inundating feeling to pass by  unnoticed owing to the repercussions  that might follow. That’s when a small identity crisis crippled, as in, this space which was meant to be exclusive for me , which was started with a distinct  motive of expressing “honestly“, should itself be estranged. I didn’t know! I didn’t have answers to the myriad questions rising in my mind. But there was a point where I really felt the need for the resilience and watch the world pass by  as a mere  spectator with no strings attached to it. It was quite an experience to watch things at a distant. This process was really a great learning curve and has changed my perspective of life. Life at a distance was heaven but at the same time it was funnily weird at times. I really have so much to say and write but as of now am restraining myself to write more so as to learn from the world more.

The Long lost love..

… And that is finally found. Isn’t it always a bliss to be doing what we love to do without any guilt towards to it. If that it is, then in a way, I could really boast of it. Given the current “unemployed “ state of mine , or can I give myself a bit of benefit and call  a “homemaker” , where I’ve all the time in this entire galaxy enough to do things that I like the most ,apart from the domestic chores, and by that, reading was not that far away. I was definitely not that kind of a child who loves to go out and meet friends and play as if there’s no tomorrow. I’ve a very blurred memory of the number of times I‘ve actually played  in the entire span of my childhood. And that was when my affair with the books had begun. I still remember the first book that I actually laid my hands on ,  “Gokulam” the English magazine of a Tamil weekly popular named KALKI , exclusively for kids. This book gave me the perspective of “reading” beyond the prescribed text books. The book contained variety genres like short stories, animated stories, regulars and so on. It also had an agony-aunt sort of column where in the kids of the age ranging from 8-16 poured their agonies. There were times when I could relate to most of the queries asked ,though my favorite part of the book was the story of a mouse family which comprised of mother, father, sister and brother and the story would weave brilliantly around their trials and tribulations ,love, affection and also would talk about the sibling rivalry.  The simple English and the educative articles edged this book amongst others.  Besides there were also other similar books like champak which kindled the interest to read books. After this, I’d slowly graduated  to read books like Nancy Drew , Hardy boys , Famous Five and such like. I still remember how insanely I sank in the books in my hand oblivious of the happenings around me. Those were the times when I forsake my physical training classes only to sneak into the library and get in touch with the books that I‘d left half way. This little habit of mine tardily faded paving way for the ever-growing responsibilities and changing priorities. Now with all this once-professional-turned - homemaker tag thought this would be the time to revamp this long lost love which I’d decided to grab it covetously :) .  I was scouring the net to find what was in vogue in the literature world - the books, the reviews and such like and inferred the ones that are now adorning the side bar of this page. There are numerous blogs that I’d discovered which is written so eloquently making me feel small in front of their literary skills which I‘ve decided to hone strenuously. In lieu of this, I’ve also been following closely with the recently held Jaipur literature festival where all the big shots from the literature world had met and discussed the literature as such.  But the dreams were shattered when I heard that this part of the world does not boast of a decent library or in fact ANY library. After an incessant search with a failed mission of finding one led to discovery of an awesome book store which had everything that I desired for . This was when the spouse connived at  me to OWN it. I say it as a big deal because, yes it is as such , with the kind of books that am lured to, buying it would prove it to be pricey but then the spouse gave a go- ahead much to my excitement. So now there’s a mini library in the offing at my  place :). Though I loved to read from all genres but am thoroughly  an avid reader of fiction . So, here are some of my thoughts on the books that I’ve read so far, this is also to keep track on the books that I read.

Brida by Paulo Coelho :

This book is a story of an Irish girl named Brida who embarks a journey in search of knowledge. During that journey she meets people who contribute in a way on her ‘self’ discovery. It’s  a simple plot with spiritual annotations adorning it. This book was recommended by my ex-colleague who was way too impressed with the book.  It was not much of an interest while I was read it as the story was reding things that I hardly was  being able to relate, IMO.

P.S. I Love You By Cecelia Ahern :

 Yes, yes, you heard it right. It's quite an old one as the book was published in the year 2004 and it’s  movie adoption on 2007.So, yeah I read it late :).
It’s the debut novel of the author and the story revolves around the couple Holly and Gerry  who are truly , madly and deeply in love. Gerry dies of a chronic disease and he writes 10 letters before his death to his wife in order to make her move on with her life sans him.
The plot is as poetic , romantic and tragic true to it’s sense but I still felt it could’ve been narrated in an even more elegant way. The book at times wanders far away from the plot and at times it gets repetitive. Despite small falls, this book definitely is one of my favorites just for the simple reason - The Plot.


The White Tiger  By Aravind Adiga :

The Indian author is the  winner of the Man Booker prize and I can see why it is. The book is about a village simpleton who is servant-turned-murderer -turned - entrepreneur. He says about his rise in the form of a single letter to the Chinese Premier in  seven nights.
The book holds onto our attention from the word Go. Exceedingly well written . There’s a dark humor in the way Balram, the protagonist of the book, narrates his experiences. Though I must admit  that there were times when I was perturbed by the fact that my country was shown in poor light, or if I could put it this way, the dark side of my country. But I would like to leave it at that.


The Alchemist By Paulo Coelho :
 This is the story of a shepherd Santiago embarks on a journey to follow his dream and eventually learn the art of listening to what his heart says. “The Alchemist” is a widely read book and always been recommended by people who have read. And now I echo these recommendations. It’s definitely a good read if we understand the underlying message.

Twilight By Stephanie Meyer :

The debut novel of the author where a girl Bella ,meets a boy Edward who in turn is a vampire and yet she’s head-over heels in love with him. The book has a few extremely chilling moments ,like, when we get to know the age of Edward , which is otherwise just a mediocre teen love novel .Am still not sure on what exactly made to pick this one , may be just to see what the ‘saga’ was all about. There were some instances which reminisced my school days , the place where we tend to meet our “crush”.  All said and done this is definitely not my “kind”.

Currently on the shelf :

The Museum of Innocence By Orhan Pamuk :

I don’t think I can write something about this since am half way thro it. But yes, the reviews of the book is awe-inspiring consistently.

On My Wishlist:

Though this list is never ending , but these are my immediate interests :

1) My Sister’s keeper By Jodi Picoult
2) Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson & David Oliver Relin
3)  Reading Lolita in Tehran By Azar Nafisi
4) The Palace of Illusions By Chitra Banerjee.

And I hope to continue with this love :).

Am I handicapped?

When it comes to writing, or, by and large expressing?? This is probably one of the questions that I’ve been contemplating in the recent past but in vain to counter the thoughts. The long dearth from this little space of mine stands testament to it. Not that my life has become less eventful ever since I turned to be a home maker or have not  blinkered about the events happening  around the world, as a matter of fact I’ve loads of things  to be shared, to fret on,  to be contented, to reminisce about and so on. But yet, when I would think of articulating the same I would profoundly feel disconnected between my thought process and the sense of expression albatrossing me. Having said that, guess what’s my challenge for this year :- To overcome this disability of mine and I hope to recuperate from it soon.

Desu Chudayya… Pardes bulayya…

It’s been a real long time since I’d even visited this little space of mine, leave alone writing something on it. Thanks to those THE most chaotic weeks after this. With just a week for a radical change in my life, my wheels were on full spree with shopping, closing on accounts, finalizing on the things to be taken with, visiting relatives on and on and on. And the last few days were even more crazier enough to make me even forget to breathe. The house was full with throngs of HD’s relatives pouring in and honestly that made things even more chaotic as his aunt fell sick of high pressure and had to be rushed to hospital just before the last few hours of our departure. Things returned to normalcy only after the doctor’s affirmation that she’s fine and had to some rest. After that unfortunate thing, we were again busy with some last minute checking and finally, we were off to airport with literally a bandwagon to see us off. We entered the airport with the sea of heavy baggage unaware of the other “tamasha” waiting for us in the airport where HD and me ruffled a bit in front of complete strangers as to what items have to be offloaded to reduce the baggage. Clearing off the baggage ,bidding adieu to the apparently anxious HD’s relatives , and clearing the string of formalities , we finally crashed onto the seats in the lounge of the airport in the wee hours ,waiting to aboard a new phase of life. It was only on that moment did I perceive the impact of this “new” life. Soon I would be leaving the place which had seen my life’s ups and downs, joys, sorrows and above all the familiarity of at least few a people when I walked down the street and

that made me realize that I had not only bid adieu to the people but apparently to at least a quarter of my life. All this was interrupted by a female voice announcing on the details of boarding the flight and there, HD and I picked our bags and walked towards the flight contemplating on what god has in store for us. Subsequently after seating on the flight and while browsing through the magazines my eyes which was sleep -deprived for the last 18 hrs finally took some rest. And HD was all the more enthused in showing me some amazing scenic from the top like sea , desert and blah blah was like singing in unresponsive ears as I was drooling down in his shoulders. Finally the journey to my other phase of life ended or rather begun while the captain announced the safe landing and I entered the city with mixed bag of emotions which was an unique sense of joy and at the same time lot of apprehensions dominating. The drive from the airport to home introduced me to those landscape buildings, the people dressed in the attire which I’ve seen only on the movies and the special notice was the range of cars that were plying on the overly - disciplined lanes. And I realized that the place was just a replica of my city, not a single time did I feel that I was on the other part of the world. Though the first few days was spent more on catching up with the lost sleep due to the crazy schedules back home and the other being the jet lag. Furthermore , here the days went quite busy in adjusting to the local time and setting up the home which , even after three months ,is still half way in completion. All said and done, I must accept that the life here is completely different from the one that I’d been living for the last few years and in HD’s words life here is ‘so far so good’.

PS: This post was lying in my draft for considerate amount of time and finally saw the light of the day.

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna..

No more those long hours of drowning in to the system; No more of those frantic calls from the clients; No more gossiping with friends over the cup of coffee; No more of those long sometimes sensical and many a times non-sensical meetings and there are many more which could be added to the never-ending list. It’s for a life of about three years to which I’d bid adieu yesterday with a heavy heart. Yes, now you are now reading this space of an educated, skilled unemployed youth :). I was fresh out of college when I'd joined work and I was this all this over- enthusiastic girl who was all geared up for a new challenge to face. Right from then life was a roller coaster ride with sea of joyful , cherishing and at times depressing waves touching me. It has made me what am today. And this phase of life did give in that confidence and it DID bring that pride in me. On the flip side, like any other it had its own unfavourable effects on me. There are a lot of things in life that I’d given a miss, some which are irrevocable, irreconcilable. I crossed the threshold of my most imperative phase of life with a hasten. I’d become work alcoholic without even me becoming conscious about it. Under stably, I cannot blame work, as in, for it as should have been ‘me’ who should have struck a balance between work and life. On the whole it was a real ‘experience’ which can be looked back and cherish those once-for-all moments.
And that also means that there’s a new beginning not only on the professional side but on the geographical side which was the sole reason behind this ‘unemployed’ state of mind. Yes, I would be soon go away leaving behind my motherland; my culture; my heritage on the whole.

More to come on this .... :)

What a Shame!!!!

News such as these talks about the precariousness on the very existence of something called as “Humanity” itself. It was a series of imbecility and every damn thing went wrong here. Do these human predators understand as to what kind of “contribution” they make to the society? As someone said, only if the punishments become corporal will the crime rates come down. Am low to the extent of even to write something on this and completely handicapped :(

If only I could..

Not sure if I've ever posted a forward on my blog. But after receiving this, I couldn't resist posting one which reflects the golden phase of my life :) Without much of my rants or prattles what ever.. here's what I'd received as a mail but mirrored my thoughts and re-kindled my past :)

Remembering my classmates,after few years,
My eyes were filled with tears,
Everyone now is busy a lot,
No one escaped from detiny's plot

Saw the girl whome once I thought as my best friend,
oops today she is somebody else's girl friend,
After months, remembered about her for a little while,
Heard she is happy, that made me smile.

Project reviews to Campus Interviews,
Nicknames to last bench games,
cultural rehersald to love proposals,
short term crushes to class room blushes.

Everything is fresh in our mind,
wish life could just rewind,
Let's laugh, play and rejoice,
Once again become college guys.

Chatting and laughing, we all were in elation,
till the painful moment of separation,
when it was time to part,
we returned with a heavy heart.

Today life is full of commitments,
And too many worries,
But those cherished moments,
Will live forever in our memories!!!!

If only I could go back on a time machine and relive those moments..

Sigh!!!

RIP

Yesterday I woke to the frantic call from my sis only to tell me about the fateful news of the sudden demise of her dearest friend whom she knew from their childhood days, maybe say from their 6th grade or even lesser. Unlike me, my sister has swarm of friends among whom this anna, as I fondly call him (anna means brother for non- Tamil readers) was the best. It is for sure not just a say, but true to the meaning of it. He was one of the coolest guys I’ve ever met. His eyes would speak volumes about him. He would stand out distinctively even among a crowd and if there’s a place which is much chirpier and happy and the reason for that would be undoubtedly him. He has a charm by himself which would seek the attention of others even without him virtually soliciting for. He was so unique in his own ways and I say so much because he did have a dark past and it was really a miracle and of course with sheer god’s blessing did he come out of it with a bang. But this time, I believe god decided the other way, and decided to have him for himself for ever. I’ve run thro this anna only on certain occasions, just by the relation of my sister, and by this itself the thought about him makes me feel so low on loosing him, I can only imagine what my sister and her whole bunch of friends will be going through. All I am doing right now is to pray the almighty to give them and his family the strength to face this state of affairs. And also May anna’s soul rest in peace.

We will Miss u Anna, For ever and ever..

Revelation of Parenthood

I was and did comprehend a lot of mommy blogs and have been flabbergasted by the way they would articulate. They write with so much of ardour, warmth which attaches a dignity to the already esteemed mother hood. There are quite a few blogs which quiver my inner urge to be one myself such is the zeal with which they write. I’d always deliberated that it’s only moms who would express their love to their offspring and Dads are less expressive. And not long before did I stumble here and subsequently leading to read this changed my entire perspective of this rationale. Fathers are for eternity imperative right?

There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when
he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough
for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love
itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

Reading few others, I couldn’t stop myself in thinking about my own dad (though this might be like off the topic). While my mother did carry the entire burden in raising us while dad was solely the bread winner of the family. Thanks to his marketing job, he was always on his heels living mostly on the intercity trains and buses for a long term official tour making a rare guest appearance. But as time conceded and when I was growing into this ‘rationale’ girl or rather woman, I did appreciate how my father had helped mom in raising us in a roundabout way. He has and probably will never get in the way in any of my mom’s decision more than ever if it involving us. He will also not impede on any of our own lives. He has always let us been ourselves and has never tried to change things in us. True to the words of an eminent persona, my father did not tell us how to live but lived and let me watch him do it. Though we, or at least I, did miss the charisma of the father figure at home but yet doubtless, I’ve a space for myself where I could dispense out emotion, if only my father was introduced to these platforms, he could have been even more articulate.

Being Me – II

Time has flown at a fast pace since I had written this. With another two years off, this year yours truly meekly hits the quarter to the century. Yes, twenty five long years of my subsistence. And true to the quote of Shakespeare:

***There was a star danced, and under that was I born***

this star was born when the other stars danced…:)
More to come but as of now ….. It’s just a very Happy Birthday to Me… :)

Am Done!!!

To all those of who are airing with all your free counsel without even me soliciting it for; all I could say will be a BIG Thank You! Thanks for all those extra efforts that you put in giving away those "precious" say but yet No Thank You!! If you think that am not sane enough to do things and more over settle on things by muself for a plain reason that I tend to ask things before I do anything as a mark of respect, then probably you have flawed . With a definite fact that I did exist in this galaxy for about twenty years before I ran thro’ you I have the conviction that am proficient enough to run things on my own even if it’s going to cost me a fortune. I will truly appreciate if I am given my space to live, breath and on the whole survive! And as the quote goes by.. Please Live and let Live.

A self revelation :)

You Are Ceramics

You are open to the world and it's possibilities. You are able to start something without knowing how it will end. You trust your intuition above everything else. Going with your gut often works out. You believe that every day objects can and should be art. The best art allows ordinary life to be more stylish and beautiful.

What Type of Art Are You?

A New-fangled Me... :)

I’ve been extensively blog hopping for while and was truly amazed at the genres which every single blog carried. I was and am reading a varied zest like food, gadgets, and mothers, personal and so on. It had really changed my discernment of this complete thought behind ‘blog’ or precisely ‘blogging’. I was jus sitting glued to the system for hours in reading those blogs that I’d instinctively developed a flair for reading by itself. Here, I’ve to be honest enough in accepting that not only was I influenced to write or rather express more, I was also disposed on the design of the blog it self. I was some how driven to write on a different platform, but given for the fact that my indiscretion on jus one, couldn’t think that I will be able to do the honors of having a second one. And finally when I decided to have a small make over of my blog that was when I found this, Thanks to Google :) . After a zillion thoughts and templates juggling I finally roped in this from here, yet there are many others which I really liked. True to the quote :

Change is the only permanent thing in this world

I hope this change is just not restricted with the design but to my stance even.

Raja Ko Rani se Pyar ho Gaya – Part II

And then……
Our engagement was fixed in a very short span of two weeks without the dates of the D -Day being finalized. Though we’d mutually agreed on the proposal but we still remained unfamiliar person to each other. Thanks to HD, we decided to have the wedding on the later part of the year amidst the furor and resistance from both our families. I had a strong belief that this period of our courting would be the underpinning of my life and so I was determined to take this prospect and get to know each other. But alas, the first three months went off with not much of it as he was preparing for his dream run certified examination and hence didn’t want to disturb him much. And hence there were not much congregation it was jus those long sessions over phone... especially during the night time which would be a fitting time for repose. Now coming to the dot - the guy himself. On the first day, it was like two full-grown people sitting across the table and discussing their lives and there was nothing much further to it with neither of us not having much expectation. I must confide here that even during our engagement period we were unfamiliar person to each other. But then am really not sure of how & when exactly did I start adoring him but definitely not during our initial days, probably it just evolved with time. What really can I say about this wonderful guy?? He’s so unlike me on all aspects, be it on his endurance level, considerate; he jus charms on anything and everything he does. I would definitely say that man plays a very crucial role in keeping his family intact and also not hurt himself in the progression. Because it’s very evident that a woman leaves behind everything and enters into another family trusting none but solely her companion. Her life restarts again with him being the central point and this I could proudly say my HD has lucratively crossed without a twinge to anyone. He took the initiative of disseminating his home to me way before the moment I could actually step into his life made my ‘transition’ much simpler. There are few things which I really do not have to tell him out loud but it could have jus been done. In this entire period of me knowing him, I’ve never really seen him loosing his cool for what ever biggest mistakes I might have committed. On the contrary to me, he’s never spoken anything beyond his control even while he hit his highest point of anger. There might have been contemplations like as to what big deal is this all about, but the point here is that we were not married after a long period of courtship. And while we were actually courting, we'd almost reached a stage where it was irreversible. And now with all this am really not going to even think of reversing. I just thought about him and nothing else while I knew anything besides that could be jus fleeting away with time. What could have happened if not him, probably my journey could have been different somewhere. But I could have truly missed being the WIFE of this wonderful person; and I really mean it from the bottom of my heart…
And now am leaving this much loved song of mine to this wonderful person im much sync with my mood.. :-)

To Be Continued…
Until my life curtains comes to a draw..

The Unsung songster

Have been listening to the Maalyil Yaaro from the movie Chatriyan for the nth time on my earphones. My… what a passionate number from none other that the great Raja Sir. I say this romantic one in spite of it being a solo number. In addition to Raja sir’s mesmerizing music magnificently picturised on the elegance- personified Banu Priya the other person who could silently take the credit is none other that the singer herself, Swarnalatha. Man! What a scintillating voice. I jus cannot put in any one else but for her for this song. She’s one of the singers whose profile will have a complete genre of music. This could be substantiated from the songs like Aatamma therottamma from the movie Captain Prabhakaran which is more a folk to the sensuous Hey Rama from Rangeela to the pathos like her national award winning song porale from Karuthamma to a very plain yet brilliantly sung thirumana malargal from the movie poo vellam un vasam. What an endowed singer!! And the other one which I’ve recently discovered is the song kuliruthu kuliruthu from the movie Taj Mahal composed by none other than our own ARR.Her voice would jus blend so well with the BGM and am sure it could make us fall in love once again :-) But I’ve always wondered whether if she was given the due credit which she deserves. Any ways, with not pondering much on the intricacies, I shall jus enjoy the song … And for all those of you who would really like it and wanna give a try here it is. Enjoy!

Am hurt… deeply...

Like any daughter, My Dad is my Hero. He’s always been a calm, composed, passionate person and on the 25 years of this life journey I’ve never seen Appa loosing his cool... I’ve always tried to live like him... Appa’s main motto in life which he also follows conscientiously is "the more you give... the more you grow". I’ve seen him live up with his motto even if it’d cost him a fortune… And by some means I’ve imbibed this quality of his in me… I’ve always accepted things as it comes and have never really wanted it the Way I wanted… Many a times, right from my childhood ,I’ve been taken for a ride … I will constantly face bullying , bickering and on … but as a kid, I was not very vexed … I was jus so blameless that I could jus dust away from my shoulders and move on …. I’ve been and am paying a great deal even today… This one eminence has so developed in me that am now unable to completely rip it off from after having paid off profoundly… Though my inner strength has grown stronger, but there have been times when it will lead me to the boundaries of aggravation… as high to the extent of cursing, abusing, assaulting myself for having been so naïve... There have been many such instances in the recent past which has testified this eminence and the one in the recent past has unquestionably distressed me… Too many things jus ran on my mind... with too many questions which were predominantly WHY AGAIN ME???? I couldn’t take the effects jus like that… I didn’t feel like talking to anyone… I didn’t want to see anyone’s face… On the first place, I jus didn’t know how to react when I was nailed for something which I did that could have been any girl’s yearning … There was no one around for me to vent out… For the first time ever I experienced the seclusion among the swarm… I wanted to run to my mother hide my face under her lap and cry my heart out... I wanted to cuddle to my dad’s shoulder to experience his warmth… I’ve never missed them so bad in life… and I realized what they are to me… It was a revelation. It has left behind a irreparable scar in me… and has shaken my inner strength… appallingly. Though everything seems fine but still at the bottom of my heart…. AM ALL HURT…. DEEPLY….

Friend, My Earnest Apologies….

Dear S,
I first met you during the days of my "golden phase". You were a complete stranger and we would jus meet occasionally for one of our leisure period... You were fair skinned, vivacious, enterprising and I could jus go on and on about you... I was, at that time, completely de -moralized, the trepidation of people who were good looking was so sturdy in me and that held in me reserved from you. You belonged to one of that "happening" gang from which I would completely distance myself due to the timidity of myself. But as days passed, you had initiated our amity or rather the liaison... We’d slowly become acquaintances ; we talked during the class hours; we messaged while we were apart; we’d those long hours of chatting sessions over phone ; And you were the one who introduced me to the coffee shops, plazas and the other happening hang-out places which honestly are alien land…. and slowly we’d become inseparable... But still on a remote corner of my heart, I was still fighting that freaking diffidence in me… I was unable to over come it completely... you didn’t know about it… or perhaps... I didn’t make you realize it... Time passed as our liaison grew stronger and deeper... You’d almost started confiding your’self’ to me... we were in complete revelation of each other... We found the solace in our relation ship... But yet, dear friend … I could not win over the downbeat emotion; as the time grew and with that we’d also grown and there was that awful day of separation... But still we made sure that we didn’t wobble our liaison... And one day you gave me that sweetest news of your significant other… You were jus SO into him … that you could keep raving about him even if it was a diminutive thing… I can still not forget that grin on your face with you’re already milk - fair cheeks turning pink when ever you get his call… But Dear friend, fate had other plans for us... Some how we lost in touch… It was almost a year that we were unable to commune... By then all good things had happened to you... You got married to this nice person with whom you were really in love... Truly, madly deeply…. And as a result... god had gifted you with little angel… But I wasn’t there to see all those… Am still not able to reason out as to how and why I let you go… I should have taken the least of measures for us to get back what we’d lost… perhaps.. Am I still suffering from that dread ful emotions…. Am not sure… I still hit myself very hard for what I’ve done… Is there anything that I cannot forgive myself is for loosing You… Some day or the other I believe that our paths will cross each other... And we might again have the same color in our life... But still... Am really not sure if I could muster up the courage to look into your eyes and confide everything to you...

Struck by WILB!!???

Don’t articles such as these encourage us to do more... :-)!
Well, of late yes, there has been lot of browsing, blog hopping and have found many such interesting sites , blogs and so on.. But this has definitely not flawed the performance as rightly mentioned it has increased.. :-) Or probably its jus reckoning the statement given..